Performing Arts kids…

Alike Sam I am all for people doing theatrical works and performing arts stuff for a hobby. I myself have dabbled in this. When it becomes your life and you start to obsess over it, thats when you become what I like to call a ‘Performing Tart’ (see what I did there…im clever me).

News Flash Kids, High School Musical is a sham. Not once in my life have i suddenly burst into a song and dance routine with my friends in the middle of a shopping centre and not once has every member of the public around me joined in with the dance routine that we all magically knew. And we can’t forget the omniscient music now can we?

Sam is right. Disney has gone downhill. I remember seeing Toy Story in the cinema. I remember standing in line for 2 hours to buy a Buzz Lightyear action figure. I remember seeing Hercules in the cinema. I remember sitting at home watch the classic disney films, Robin Hood, Cinderella, Fox and the Hound, Snow White, Dumbo, Bambi.

The point is great films get shown in cinemas. Now I’m not saying all films shown in cinemas are great (Titanic proved that). But if High School Musical was that great…why was it only ever shown on Disney Channel?

Theatrics & Amateur Dramatics

Okay, here’s something I’ve always wanted to discuss.

Kids that are into performing arts.

Wow.

Really?

Performing arts? M’kay, so it turns out your beloved son who you thought would be into football & rugby and girls, is in fact, a flaming homosexual. Now that’s not a problem. I’m down with the gay thing, that’s cool. It’s the god damned cockiness that comes with it. You’re in a play, go you. Everybody still things you’re a tosser and you’re no better for it.

I’ve got a lot of friends involved in the performing arts scene. Again, cool – I’m supportive. But does it really have to soak up every single minute of every single day? You’ve got to have priorites in life. When you put the works of William Shakespear before everything else in your life, you’re not thinking straight.

The main grind I have with these guys though is the obsession with High School Musical, claiming it’s some kind of inspiration. Inspiration huh? The only thing that film has inspired me to do is hate happy people. That’s right, I’ll be the first to say it – High School Musical killed my inner child.

What happened to the good old days when Disney films were… Oh I don’t know – good? WALL-E looks like it might salvage the company’s reputation but then I discovered this:

God only knows what unforseen damage this could do to children growing up in this world. The world is a horrible, horrible place children. Really, it is, Godawful.

That’s not just me being my usual cynical self. That’s the harsh truth. The world isn’t LIKE this. Take High School Musical 2. A whole group of friends ALL go on a summer vacation and get jobs at a golf course and sing faggy songs about how they have to work. Sounds thrilling doesn’t it. What makes it worse is that when I worked in the Disney Store over Christmas ‘07, I had to put up with said faggy songs over and over and over.

Do they even look like rockers to you?

No. THAT is what real rockers look like. And if you don’t know who that is I suggest you put your headphones back in & keep bopping your head along to Britney Spears. I’m sure you’ll find comfort and solace in knowing that no matter how bad your life gets, at least you aren’t that drugged up, smack-addicted crackwhore who used to have a smidgeon of talent. Oh, and may I add, also started working for Disney. Funny how that worked out eh Vannessa Hudgens?

Coming back to performing arts kids though. Would you give it a rest? I mean, even the football-heads and the goths aren’t that obsessive. Take a day off already!

For the record, this wasn’t aimed at anyone in particular, just general ranting

–Samwise Out

Big Brother…

is quite possibly the most pointless TV programme ever.

Someone said to me today ‘What’s more interesting than 12 random people sharing a house together though?’ The sad thing is they were being serious. They find that the most interesting thing. Ever. Well actually i can think of things a lot more interesting. Firstly there’s monkey poo. I’d rather examine monkey poo than watch Big Brother. Next on my list is Gender reassignment operations (thats sex changes for you common folk). You were allready assigned a gender…A) stop being greedy and taking the other one aswell; 1 gender per person and B) stop messing up the natural gender balance of the world…

Anyway…this got me thinking of other pointless tv shows… so ive decided to make a list…

So here we are…my top [number] pointless tv shows. ever.

1-Big Brother – For reasons above.

2-Sponge Bob Square Pants – Its annoying and mind-numbing. Its too childish for 7 year old but yet 17 year olds find it amusing.

3-Dora the Explorer – 1) shes 5, how many five year olds do you know that have as many far fetched adventures as her. 2) it mindwarps teenage girls. 16 year olds with dora explorer bags are not cool. they look silly.

4-Lazy Town – no reason.

5- X-factor – If a singer is really that good and wanted to sing that much they would of been found by a record company. not a reality tv show.

6-Britains got Talent – Again, if their talent was that good, they would of been found.

7- Emmerdale – I hate all soaps in general. Emmerdale however is actually my favourite of them all even though its still pointless. Take your typical Yorkshire Village, count the number of natural disasters, un-natural deaths and car, minibus, plane and other vehicle accidents in the last 100 years, add them up, they fit that into a month of Emmerdale.

8- My Super Sweet 16th – I dont care about spoilt brats.

9- Friends – The only show on this list that can redeem its self and get off the list. If more seasons of Friends are made then they are off the list. As it stand at the moment everyone has seen every episode 20 times and to be honest its getting boring.

10- Disney Channel (i know its technically not a programme but everything on this channel is pointless so its on the list. and its my list nayway, who are you to judge) – Hannah Montana, High School Musical, Thats so Raven…makes me shudder…